


painkillers and pancakes

by howitzer



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, M/M, i needed to practice the boxes. this was the practice., peter is also good cook, peter is good bf, there is a brief description of violence, wade got hit by a car lol, wade is an irresponsible little shit but we all still love him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 07:46:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14732852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howitzer/pseuds/howitzer
Summary: in which wade wakes up in pain, and an unfamiliar room.





	painkillers and pancakes

**Author's Note:**

> [square brackets are yellow box]  
> (round brackets are white box)

wade woke up to the smell of bacon frying in a pan somewhere nearby. he opened his eyes and realised he was in an unfamiliar setting. thin rays of sunlight illuminated the wooden floorboards from where they shone through the drawn curtains. his room didn’t have wooden floorboards-- fuck, it didn’t even have curtains! he went to shift his legs to get himself up in order to investigate, but he was instantly met with a throbbing pain as soon as he moved. 

“ahh, fuck!” he groaned, screwing his eyes shut and grimacing from the tingle of nerves he had almost forgotten the feeling of. 

**[we’ve been kidnapped. we did too much cocaine last night and now we’re gonna have to kill whatever motherfucker is holding us hostage.]**

**(maybe whoever it was can spare some money for their troubles.** **_then_ ** **we can kill them.)**

wade huffed at the boxes, reaching to knock himself over the temple with one of his hands but made another noise of discontent as an ache overcame his arm as he lifted it from its position at his side. “f-fucking  _ shit! _ fuck! what the hell?” he was usually so tolerant of pain - being stabbed barely felt like more than a faint sting anymore. yet here he was, in a bed that definitely wasn’t his, met with pain all over his poor excuse for a body.

**(so we can regrow limbs but we’re complaining about a muscle ache? god, what have we become?)**

“can you shut the fuck up? christ… let a dude live. i can moan when i want.”

the man was so distracted by the boxes that he didn’t even hear the footsteps coming towards the room he was in, presumably from what he could only imagine was a hallway. he once again tried to get up and flopped back down onto the… surprisingly soft mattress. if he was about to be mugged, they could take whatever little money he had on him. he wasn’t willing to put up with the pain defending himself would come with. not now.

“wade, hey. you’re awake.” 

he shifted his eyes when the door opened, being greeted by the sound of a somewhat familiar voice that seemed a little fuzzy initially. maybe his hearing had taken some kind of loss too. 

**(fuck it. we can be like daredevil. only deaf.)**

**[haha, deafdevil.]**

his train of thought was cut short when the person who spoke leaned over him, baring a sympathetic grin on their face. 

“oh god, peter, baby!” the older man grinned upon seeing his boyfriend, albeit with a look on his face that seemed far too worried for his liking. his hair was sticking up in all directions and his eyes looked like they were struggling to stay open. he could guess it was some time in the early morning due to the amounts of sunlight filing through the gaps in the curtains. he looked tired. “where am i?”

“my house, dumbass.” peter replied softly, reaching a hand out to cup wade’s cheek closest to him. he retracted it after a few seconds, using it to cover up a yawn as he stretched his other hand up above his head. he then sat down on the bed by his other half’s feet. “i haven’t slept all night. been making sure you didn’t actually die.” his eyes sparkled with a sense of sincerity, which tugged at wade’s heartstrings a bit. nobody had really cared much for him before. he had no clue what had happened to him, maybe peter didn’t either. peter was silent for a second, then raised his eyebrow. “hold on. did you just ask where you are?”

wade nodded to the best of his ability. “yuh-huh, princess. no clue until you said so.”

peter bit his lip. not seductively. more like he was thinking. or confused. or thinking  _ because  _ he was confused. “i think you might have a mild concussion or something. you did get done pretty hard last night.”

“done?” the other asked, attempting once again to shuffle his body upright but this time resisting the pain that came with his movements. “seriously, peter, what happened to me? fuck… i feel like i’ve been hit by a car.”

“you have.” peter deadpanned. it looked as if the gears in his brain were still turning, but he maintained eye contact with his boyfriend.

“wh-what?” wade stammered, his brow creasing. “are you kidding?”

“yeah, no. i had to rescue you from the scene before anyone could get to you. luckily i got there before the cops, you were out. thought it killed you.” the younger man frowned. “i got scared, wade. you gotta be more careful sometimes.” 

peter kept talking, but wade had zoned out. how the fuck had he managed to get knocked out from being hit by a car, of all things? 

**(must have been pretty hefty. or fast.)**

**[or maybe we’re just losing it.]**

“the fuck do you mean, losing it?” he grumbled in response to yellow. peter suppressed a laugh, but got up from where he sat at the corner of his bed. 

“wade.” peter said in a slightly harsh tone.

“sorry, honeybunches. you were saying?” 

“the car rammed into you super hard, apparently.” he continued. “must have knocked a loads of bones out of place, maybe broke some, maybe fractured some. i’m pretty sure your neck popped too. it was freaking gross.”

wade rolled his eyes. “that’s baby stuff. but would explain why my body is killing me right now.”

“yeah, yeah. i heard you moaning so i guess you’d woken up.” peter motioned towards the door with his thumb. “i was cookin’ some stuff, but since you’re with me now i might as well cook you something too. pancakes?” he offered.

“oh, you do know how to treat a man well. come gimme a hug.” wade opened his arms and hissed, but peter bounced over and gave him what must have been the gentlest hug in history. "please put the nice maple syrup on them, or i might have to ditch you forever." he whispered into peter's ear during the embrace.

“of course, silly. i’ll get you advil too. helps with the pain.” he pressed a kiss to wade’s ever-rough cheek, flicked his finger over his nose, and headed towards the door.

before he left, peter turned around once more. he cocked his head to one side and sighed, looking at the other in the eyes. “you’re such a fucking idiot, and i love you. please be more careful. i couldn’t stand to lose my merc. you’re lucky i know what you’re like.”

“indestructible and sexy as hell?” wade smirked.

“brainless, but close enough.” peter shook his head, unable to resist grinning. “i’ll go put on your pancakes now.” 

“love you, peter!” wade cooed, blowing him a kiss.

“whatever.” peter sighed happily in response, making a catching motion with his hand and leaving the room to fetch the two main things he needed to make his boyfriend happy.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! if ya wanna get in touch, my twitter is @worldofmaglc <3


End file.
